...gateway moment with sir glenn...

Kagabi, sa pagitan ng isang malaking basong Ice tea at Coke ay sinubukan naming himayin ang mga tanong ng puso. Naguguluhan man, namutawi ang kasaysayan sa gitna ng palihan..

Kagabi, naisip ko yung isang quip tungkol sa pag-ibig..."The heart is a lonely hunter."

Lalo kong napag-isipan ang sarili kong kinalalagyan sa panahong ito sa panig ng relasyon at pag-ibig, at lalo akong nahintakutan sa kung saan ko pupulutin ang puso sa pagitan ng kaguluhang ito. I must admit that I have been misleading a certain person with the signals I sent, and I am very sorry for causing any hurting or adding confusion to the situation.

It hasn't been easy for me to realize that all my playing around has led me lost in the fast paced world of adult life and the sad part is that I'm not sure how to solve this tangled discourse and get to the middle of the clearing. Quoting a good friend of mine, "This summer has been a crazy rollercoaster ride.." and all I want to do is get off for now, puke my insides out and shake off this spinning sensation in the bottom of my stomach.

The considerable number of replies to my previous and quite serious blog entry is very much comforting and enlightening at the same time, making me realize points I have never come across in this lost-ness. Somehow, being acquainted with so many people intimately is like lending your money to total strangers. Having to put out much of yourself and giving it away, not entirely sure if there would be something that'll come back to you. I must admit that I do get something out of the casual encounters but the enlightenment is outweighed by this unbearable knot in my life.

Everything just feels a bit queer...

At tulad ni Sir Glenn, parang gusto ko na rin munang magbakasyon

at lumayo...

para mag-isip

para mag-change of scenery

para makalanghap ng sariwang hangin

para maging tao uli.