..Lonely friday night, all the stars came down to drink the night away..

Friday, and i find myself infront of the computer, lost and confused. Somehow, I just can't put my finger on what it is that keeps on haunting me these past few days, and it weighs me down. I'm kinda scared, and feeling so vulnerable at whatever the end might be and where do I find myself.

"When you're fucking so many people, somehow, it's always your heart and mind that gets fucked up in the end."

I keep telling that to people but it seems I was hyprocritical about it all this time. Don't get me wrong, I am not the image of perfection nor a saint. I always thought that I needed to experience life, not just the middle but also the extremes so that in the end I wouldn't have any regrets nor second thoughts. But somehow, I didn't realize that with each person I shared the night with, the more unsure I'd be of myself rather than uncover an unknown territory. I'm afraid that I am starting to be numb.

Bit by bit, everyday, it seems that I'm being emptied of all the feeling and surety that I once had. I no longer have the power to decide immediately if I need something or not. The transcience of the casual rendezvous is suddenly getting the best of me. And I'm slowly losing grip of who I am.

I just want to stop spinning.