Coming home late and happy...

I believe that this is the first time, in 1 year that I came home late yet having enjoyed my day.

Having been denied renewal of my contract with Benildanze, I've been exploring my options once again and rethinking my life and what I want to do with it for the next millenium or so. That is why I have decided to come back and start anew by being a member of the Kalinangan Ensemble of PETA. Hopefully, I'll have more fun and develop more as an artist.

This morning, while I was in between answering the call of mother nature and analyzing my list of things to do for the day, I suddenly realized that my removal from the Benildanze is a form of unexpected liberation. I must admit that it came as a surprise when they denied my contract, hence no more dancing with the school company and no more allowance with the scholarship. At the back of my head, I know I'm a good artist, a little bit rough on the edges but yet deserving to have that dance scholarship. Then, it occurred to me.

"Why would I want to dance for a company that doesn't see me as a valuable member and appreciate me for all that I am, while develop my strengths and harness my weaknesses?" The answer made me smile all of a sudden. I guess that it would be better for me to move on and analyze all of the other options. And just the fact that I'll be coming home to my old company, that fully understands my needs as an artist, realizes my worth and sees me as a member and not a slave, makes this experience all the more worth the stress.

By the way, I just came home for the theater center and started feeling the warmth that surrounds PETA and every member. Had dinner with Ian, Julia, Jeff and Anj at Chowking and just got lost in the numerous "knock-knock" jokes and everyday stories.

I guess there's so much that I'll miss over the past two years of my brief yet also interesting stint with Filipinescas-Benildanze. I got the chance to dance choreographies by the late National Artsist Leonor Orosa-Goquingco and meet such interesting people which made my life better. Dancing for the school made me feel very proud, as if I was bringing home a gold medal every time I danced.

And most of all, I will miss dancing Maria Clara and the Leper, with my partner Jihan Paredes. It was in this dance that I learned that there was more to just dancing, there was more to relate to than just your partner. To dance and act at the same time made me discover a different facet of my self as an artist.

To you, Leonor Orosa-Goquingco, I will forever be thankful and indebted for sharing with us, the gift of your dances.

At the end of this day, I thank God for giving me such a beautiful life and the opportunity to share this life with equally beautiful people.....