...old poems for such a new chapter...

After a tiring day, meeting with Kuya Cris and Neomi, picking clothes for Che, and taking measurements for Makiling Ensemble, I suddenly find myself in front of a computer here at netopia shopwise and still a bit lost from the things that happened today.

At 8 am, I find myself awakened by machine gun texts from one of Ate Kris' friends whom will be having her wedding in December. At 2pm, I am surprised to see another of Ate Kris's friends texting me telling me that she's looking for a designer for her May wedding next year. I suddenly find myself smiling at the thought that job opportunities are currently falling from the heavens and landing onto my lap. The only thing that's not falling from the heavens is the one guy that I'd like to spend the rest of my life with, aka Prince Charming.

Ho hum.

Don't get me wrong, I guess I'm being ushered into the real world even before I graduate. Add the fact that I have a business meeting with Arsi Baltazar for his brand, Njork, on Tuesday. I'm still having a difficult time taking it all in, as everything is happening at a very fast pace. Sometimes I run out of breath.

Minsan tuloy, iniisip ko na magiging manang na lang talaga ako habambuhay. And all I'll have is this work. no time for lovin, I guess. Well, to break the work theme, I've decided to post a few poems from the past and hopefully they'll capture the bird of solitude that sings upon my bed at night.

Here they are.

ang ritwal ng paghuhugas ng pinggan

(ngayong basag ako at natututong lumaya)
ni santi obcena

nangilid sa aking mga mata

ang mga luhang naghintay ng ilang araw

para bumulwak ng tuluyan

tulad ng

ulan
sa labas

sa sulok ng silid ay

tumawag ng pansin ang

mga pinggang

naghintay rin at nangulila

nagmamantika

nagsesebo

iniipis

at

nalamatan na
tulad ng puso ko.

kaya't dahan-dahang

pinihit ang gripo

sabay dampot ng

scotchbrite at joy
at nagsimula ang proseso ng pagkuskos

sa lahat ng mga alaala ng
pira-pirasong pizza nung huling party ng barkada
tirang gin-pomelo

sa pitsel na bulaklakin nang matutunan mong 'di patas ang mundo

spaghetti sauce

sa mga mangkok at tinidor nung

atakihin tayon ng lumbay, isang gabi
chocolate cake sa ilang platito at pinggang kinainan

kanina lamang
ilang hagod lang at unti-unting bumitaw

ang sebo't mantika

sa ilang patak ng joy
at luha.

sa ilang saglit

nabura ko na rin ang lahat

pangungulila
at pait ng pamamaalam

sa 'yong mga salita.

*for my little prince, who made all of my stars laugh and cry at the same time...and i, the fox who cries because you have tamed me. *

dearest passenger

santi obcena

i have never seen your face

again

after that fateful day on the train

you

chose this

endless ride to anonymity,

while i

settled for a life in the sun

the twisted light

reminds me of the laughter

you once held in your palms

then you said to me

drink from this fountain

that spurts forth this uncontainable happiness

from your lips

the fool,

unable to resist the urge

fell for the trick

and currently suffers the consequences

then you

push me off the train

leaving me

alone on the platform filled with faceless men

and women

while

you, on the other hand

sped off into an artificial sunset

with your self-righteous world.

happiness is such an underrated word.

mahal

santi obcena

ilang guhit

sa braso

ang katumbas ng

paglimot sa 'yo

ilang basang

panyo at unan

ang kailangang iyakan

upang ang iyong imahe'y

matangay na ng ulan

ilang maghapon

ang bubunuing

nakatanaw sa mga

panganorin

bubulwak

ang mga alaala

kasabay ng pag-agos

ng dugo at luha

kasabay ng pag

tik tak tik tak

ng relo

kasabay ng pag-ihip ng hangin

at pagsayaw ng mga dahon sa himpapawid

isang hapon

ay titingala ka rin

sa langit

at huhugot ng isang

alaala mula

sa baul ng kahapon

at muli kang babalik sa mga bisig ko

mananatili ako

sa saglit na iyon

at 'di na aalis

papailanlang ka't

tatangayin

ng bukangliwayway

nang sa paggising

ko'y

bura na ang bakas

ng alaala

mo sa aking

panagimpan.

"for even if your happiness lies not in my arms, my heavens shall abide..."