...breaking the spell...

"All the spells of this broken heart come undone..."
---After All.

After almost four years of penning the lyrics for that song, I suddenly realize that it is just quite imposible for me to achieve what it implies. I guess that "moving on" is one of the hardest things I've never really accomplished. And it is always easier said than done. I've always just scratched the surface of this immortal longing. "You're forgiven, not forgotten", The Corrs reiterated to me.

The past few months have been the most interesting months I've ever had, I've met the most interesting people and taken on mundane and worthwhile projects for people whom I never thought would be my clients. But I must admit that I've never been this tired and busy in all the 22 years of my existence.

I have come to learn that it pays to never sweat too much on the little insignificant things in your life but rather work on the things and projects that will help you arrive to your goal. Forge relationships with people whom you think will be good for you. Sometimes they say that achieving your goal and being positive is all about surrounding yourself with the right people.

I was talking to Pj on Ym the other day, and I asked him if he was happy? I've always had this habit of popping that question randomly into any conversation, just to know how they look at their lives at that precise moment.

Santi : masaya ka ba?

PJ: generally, yes

PJ: there are things i want but i am happy

PJ: the things i want i cannot change and with age and maturity i am learning to be content.

PJ: hence, i can say i am happy

After hearing that, I suddenly realized the very essence of life, which is to be content with what I have right now and accept the triumphs and waterloos of my story. I deduce that one can never have his or her fairytale- esque ending or state of living because life is a mere escalation of needs, wants, opportunities, capabilities, choices and resourcess. Learning to accept that current level you are in and be contented with it is an art that is hard to master. While channeling what you've got and what you can do to get to where you want to be is a big challenge

Just to let everyone know, I still have my hands full right now with the wedding entourage, school (Yes, school in CSB has started this week...YEHEY!), art direction for BLIP 3 (CSB's lifestyle magazine), costumes for Che, costumes for KALOOB and Jenny Miller (for U CAN DANCE), Shoko's twill pants and some side orders for those thai pants (even though summer has officially ended).

But don't get the idea that I'm swimming in money with all those projects and orders, I guess I'm not that good at putting a price on my talent yet. Some are pro bono or just the total honest cost of labor and materials with a little extra for transpo and a meal. But I am earning experience that I can't buy nor get inside the four corners of the classroom.

Here's me looking at this toxic life from a better angle and hopefully one day, I'll be free.

"..And i'll sing my miseries to the sea

weave my stories in the sun

All the spells of this broken heart come undone...".