...eating cake at 4am, january one...

lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala
lalalalalalalalalalalalala
lalalalalalalalalalala
lalalalalalalalala

lalalalalalala

lalalalala

lalala

lala

la

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hello stranger.

...something that's supposed to be my new year entry ...

No.

I will not be doing a recap of the year that was, in my life. I think that most of the things that happened this year are better off remembered privately, or better yet, all of you out there might want to sit down with me for some coffee and conversation if you happen to be really curious. I must admit that it has been half-depressing and half-surprising year, you lose some and you gain some.

In the end, the mess we call "Our Lives" is a summation of every decision we had to make or did not make. And yes, I may not be as rich as I wanted to be last year or where I want to be yet I can honestly say that I am happy and very much thankful for everything that I have felt, experienced and for all the new people I've met.

Tulad ng sinasabi ko sa lahat ng tao, "Not every 22 year old leads the life I have, gets the chance to meet such gifted, talented and interesting people and is given the same great opportunities. "

Lastly, I have to say that this has been a good year for me in terms of the most important four letter word, L-O-V-E. For all of you who have been reading this blog of mine, I know some of you would like to contest the GOOD in the earlier sentence but still, I'd like to say that it is indeed good in roller coaster ride kinda way. Somehow, the act of finding then losing then realizing something then letting go finally and then finding the right person might be an awfully painful and weird process to go thru yet in the end I have learned more than what I intended to learn. There might have been more tears than laughs but all parties concerned are happy now, and wouldn't want it any other way. And for the others who have no idea of who I am talking about, I assure you that it's better that way. After all, in this life and age, one should learn not to broadcast everything for Life loses it's magic and mystery when we reveal all of the characters and spoil the story.

Just want to wish all of you a happy new year in a few hours, and hope that next one promises to be better than this year. Let's just keep our fingers crossed and our hopes up.

padayon.

...this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart..

dearest

buybuy...

at 4:12am, i sit in front of the computer trying to stretch time and avoid coming back to my empty room, devoid of your presence and warmth. i must admit that the last four days we spent together made me believe in heaven on earth. you broke all the records in my book and redefined everything i've learned about relationships and love.

standing outside the bus, i felt like the good housewife waving farewell to the husband. and i couldn't help crying all the way home, didn't really matter to me if the other passengers we're looking at me. i just really felt like weeping for the distance i'd have to live with as your bus makes its way back to laoag.

thank you for bearing with me and all of my quirks, and letting me take care of you while you were here. i have a feeling that breakfasts at mcdonalds will never be the same for my family...

here's me looking forward to spending eternity in your arms, beloved...

padayon.

lovingly yours,

muymuy...

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

e.e cummings

..blindsided at 3am...

I am currently giving my eye patch a rest after a day of sleeping it off and bumming around my bed. I never really thought that I'd be enjoying one whole day like this, just turning around in my bed, and listening to Norah Jones on my player. So many things have happened since I wrote my last entry, and somehow, I haven't even had the time to make the second part of the Shades of Grey entry. ho hum...

Just wanted to share that I won 3rd place at the PETA Christmas Party, in my Harajuku Geisha full regalia, complete with face paint and wig. I went with Kuya Buddy to the Theater Center, and stopped by Kuya Phil's house for a grand entrance. Everyone was mesmerized by my costume, and I'm glad that the sewing and running around has paid off with the compliments. But I think some face paint went into my eye and caused some abbrasion. And I needed to drop by the Labor Hospital in Proj. 4 to have it checked.

Thank God nothing serious happened, and I was only required to put some ointment and have my left eye covered with an eye patch so it would get some rest and not get infected. At the back of my mind, I was trying to play my own sick game. Thinking what might be the worse thing that could happen in case it wasn't a simple abbrasion and irritation, and I was scared of losing my left eye and half of my sense of sight.

...ho hum..

Gusto ko lang magpasalamat dahil mabait ang Diyos sa akin kahit na madalas akong magkulang sa kaniya sa pananampalataya ko at pagbibigay papuri at pasasalamat sa lahat ng biyayang binibigay niya sa akin. Aminado akong hindi lahat ng ka-edad ako ay nagkakaroon ng pagkakataong magkaroon ng ganitong mga oportunidad..

Somehow, in the whole scheme of my universe, I realized that I am not Superman nor Wonder Woman, I can break, cry, be weak and find my self on the floor sometimes...so I can pick myself up and dust off the yesterday and be better again.

padayon,

sants.

p.s (I'll be posting some of the pictures of the Harajuku Geisha soon, so you guys can see the price of beauty and vanity in full regallia.)

...shades of grey part one...

I must admit that it took me quite a while to write something about my current life, somehow so much has happened within the last two weeks. First of all, i'd like to share that i choreographed a dance piece for a baranggay in marikina, there we're 105 students and we we're given eight minutes to tell a myth and wow the audience. In the end, I was left with almost no voice and so tired, mainly because it was quite a feat, the space we had to dance on was a 1,000 sq. meter part of the oval at Marikina Sports Complex. Aside from the choreography, which Ate Vernie and Kuya Ron helped me with too, I had to give them direction in the production design and costumes.

nakakaloka, as in. and that would be the understatement of the year. And mind you, I was also choreographing for a show that Tita Grace was doing. Instead of Arnie and me dancing, I suggested Jerald and Kuya Gaspar. It was very challenging flying from Marikina to Roosevelt, where Tita Grace's house was. I had to take a jeep to LRT megatren, then go down at gateway and transfer to the MRT, go down at Q. Ave station, board a jeep to Pantranco then hail a Muñoz jeep that'll drop me off in front of the house. Kapagod, sobra.

Going back to the Rehiyon-rehiyon entry I did for Brgy. Sta. Elena, somehow I had to walk to Marikina Sports complex from Katipunan, on the day of the competition since all the roads into Marikina we're blocked and they had to take a far detour. Hence, I was sweaty and tired even before the competition began. To make the situation worse, the girl who was suppoed to play the part of the bird, had an accident and was injured because of a stupid wire on the ground. Having no other option, I knew there was no other person who could play the role, therefore, I danced a role which I created but didn't practice for even one time. Okay naman ang kinalabasan ng palabas, pakiramdam ko nag marathon lang ako sa laki ng space at sobrang mega kaba ever dahil may akyat sa mga kawayan na never kong nagawa sa buhay ko kahit nung nasa makiling ako..ho hum..To cut a long a long story short, natapos naman ng matiwasay ang palabas, di nanalo ang mga bata pero masaya sila. Yun lang yung importante sa akin, yung fact na masaya sila.

After that, I went to AKIC (the hotel of CSB) to see if the people we're still there since there was the GREEN HARVEST AWARDS. Fortunately, everyone was still there and I got to see some of the SPO alumni. After which, some of us went to Mito's house. And that's where i'll be picking up on the second part of this entry..kailangan ko na maligo at pupunta pa ako ng divi..heehee.

(to be continued)

...the finality of things...

i now know what i want, and i was on the verge of editing out the most important man in my life because of irrational fears and human doubts. yet now, i'm thankful i know what i really need. when i left manila yesterday, i lost an important person in my life yet when i come back to manila, i know i'm complete.

the fog of confusion has been lifted, and yes, it is still your hand, arvin that i want to hold and your heart in my palm.

this baguio trip has taught me so much. and i'm not making anymore mistakes and be reckless with other peoples hearts and with mine.